There For You
by hobbleit
Summary: Stug Friendship fic. Doug reminds Ste that he will always be there for him.


**A/N: I keep getting requests to write more Stug fics so this is a compromise. It's not a Stug romance fic, because I'm really not into them as a couple anymore (partly because I don't want Ste to hurt Doug anymore and partly because I'm on a massive Doug/John Paul kick) but I still like their friendship. So, this is a Stug friendship fic set after Brendan has gone with a little bit of McCarter thrown in.**

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Doug was worried about Ste. He had been on a mission to self destruct ever since the standoff at the club and losing Brendan that way. Doug could see his pain and he wanted to help him but he didn't know how. He wasn't even sure Ste wanted his help. He barely saw him and when he did Ste wasn't exactly in the frame of mind to talk. Doug knew what it was like to lose a person he loved but he also knew that with Ste it was different. His love for Brendan was the obsessive, destructive kind of love; the kind where you can't live or think or breathe when you aren't with that person. It had devastated Ste.

He was alone in the Deli, as he so often was these days. The lunch rush was over and Doug had sent Leanne home, giving him the chance to think but he wasn't sure that was such a good thing. He kept thinking of ways he could try to reach out to Ste but every idea ended with Ste reacting badly. He thought about calling him just to see how he was doing but he didn't think Ste would want to talk. It left a painful feeling in his stomach to see Ste hurting so much and not being able to help in any way.

The door opened and Doug looked up, seeing Ste stood there and he quickly put all of his thoughts to the back of his mind. Ste looked terrible. It was obvious that he hadn't been sleeping and by the looks of it he hadn't been spending much of his time sober either. They really needed to talk, Doug decided. He took a deep breath before he spoke.

"Hey, how are you?" He asked, trying to keep his tone light and casual whilst cursing himself silently for such a pathetic opening. Ste was obviously not all right so why ask him how he was.

"Fine," Ste replied; his voice quiet and full of sadness. He was also slurring, giving Doug confirmation that he had indeed been drinking. "Just fine," Ste moved across the Deli and took a place next to Doug behind the counter. Doug could smell the alcohol on his breath.

"Do you want to talk about things?" Doug asked hesitantly. "You've been through a lot."

"Not really," Ste replied sharply. "There's nothing to talk about."

"Ste, you're not okay. You just lost someone you loved and you're not dealing with this very well."

Doug instantly knew he shouldn't have said that. Ste didn't like him telling him that he wasn't coping; Doug could see it in his eyes.

"I'm fine," Ste repeated with an edge to his voice as if to warn Doug to back off. Despite every fibre of his being telling him that he should stop, Doug continued.

"No, you're not and you don't have to be. It's okay to not be okay and it's okay to admit that."

"Don't tell me what I should be thinking," Ste warned and this time Doug took a step back away from him. "What would you know about it?"

"Maybe I don't but I know how you felt about him. Ste, I've lost people I've loved but what I felt for them doesn't really compare to how you felt about Brendan. You loved him completely in spite of everything, and while I don't know if that was a good thing or not it doesn't change the fact that he's gone and you're grieving. You need to face up to that and deal with it or you're never gonna be able to move on."

"And what if I don't want to, eh?" Ste shouted. "What if I don't want to move on?"

"You can't keep acting like this. You can't go around pretending you're fine. Look at you, you look awful. You stink of alcohol, you're slurring your words and it's not good for you. Ste, I'm your friend and I'm always gonna worry about you."

"I don't want you to worry about me; why don't you get that into your head? You know nothing about what I'm feeling. You know nothing about being so in love with someone you can't see anything but them. You're pathetic. You talk like you know how I feel but you don't, you've never been with someone in the way I was with Brendan," Ste yelled and grabbed hold of Doug's shoulders. Doug instinctually pulled away, a scared look crossing his face. He remembered the last time Ste had been wound up and he didn't want to be hurt again. Ste saw how scared Doug looked and stepped back as if he'd been electrocuted. "I'm sorry," he whispered, "I didn't mean to do that."

"Yes you did," Doug replied weakly, still afraid of Ste might do. "I saw it in your eyes; it was just like the last time. Why don't you just stop acting like you're not bothered and face up to what you're feeling before someone else gets hurt because there's only so much I'm willing to take before you lose me as a friend.

"I know you're grieving for Brendan and even though I hated him I understand that you loved him. But I also know that he hurt you a lot, he hit you and beat you down and made you feel like dirt and I'm not ever gonna be able to understand your relationship but you have to know that I am your friend and I will never hurt you. I am not Brendan."

Ste let out a sob and collapsed to the ground. Doug knelt down next to him and pulled him into his arms, holding him as he cried. "Shhh, its okay," Doug soothed. "It's okay, I'm here." He kissed his temple gently and held him until the sobs finally began to subside. They both sat there, on the floor of the Deli, in silence with only Ste's sporadic sobs to break the silence.

Doug stroked his hair softly and a single tear fell down his cheek. "You'll get over this. It might not seem like it now but you will."

"How?"

"I don't know but one day you'll wake up and it just won't seem so bad. It'll get easier."

"But I can't imagine life without him," Ste's voice was hoarse from the crying.

"I couldn't imagine life without you but I managed it."

"Not quite the same though, is it?"

"I know. But I was the same with Bex. I thought I would never get over her, I even tried to kill myself but here I am and I'm okay. You just need to remember that you have people who care about you and who will do anything for you. You're not alone no matter how much you think you are. I'm here to talk any time that you need to."

"Thank you."

"Are you gonna be okay?"

"I don't know," Ste admitted. He was not ready to really consider moving on but he was grateful for Doug's friendship. "Sorry for before, must've scared you."

"It's okay. Do you want me to walk you home? You need to get some sleep."

"Nah, it's okay. I don't want to bother you, you probably have plans or something."

"I can cancel them if you want some company."

"You don't need to do that," Ste replied as he shakily stood up. "I'll be fine." Doug stood up and gave him an incredulous look. "I will be, really. It might just take a while."

"Okay, well call me if you need anything."

"I will," Ste said as he headed towards the door. As he was exiting John Paul entered. They avoided each other's gaze.

"Hey," Doug smiled as John Paul walked over to him and gave him a quick kiss.

"You okay?" He asked. "You look upset."

"I'm fine, just been talking to Ste; took a lot out of me but he needed it. Sometimes you just need to let someone rant and rave at you before they realise that you're there for them."

"You're a good friend."

"I know," Doug smiled and allowed John Paul to pull him into a hug. "I just hope he can get through this."


End file.
